soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize