Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
