my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
