shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize