every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
