just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
