In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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