i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
