I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
