I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
