ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
