I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just had sex on a roof
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
