I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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