Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
