so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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