What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Can I color on your dick again?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
