Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
