Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
