so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
