i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
