Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
