I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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