And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
