Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
