you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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