brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
