Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
