FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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