it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
