i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize