Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
