The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
