It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
