All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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