Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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