that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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