i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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