How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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