I faked an abortion last night.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
