so explain again why im purple
no
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Randomize
