Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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