This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
