I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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