Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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