Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
