We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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