I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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