I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I need water and some morals
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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