i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
