i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
