We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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