To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
