not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
