You're my little dorito
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
