It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
do herpes really smell.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
