Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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