Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize