I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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