Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
