This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
