i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
someone owes me an orgasm
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
